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= (IRP) The Sword and the Shield

Jerro_oconnor
"Good, that'll save us a step. Unless ye want another color." Jerro looked over his shoulder. No one there, so far so good. Only a few blocks to go.

"We'll need new identities. I already have one, but ye need to come up with one too. From now on call me Faolán Seanáin. I'm an elderly shopkeeper. I'll figure out the details later, but from now on call me Faolán. If ye can find somethin that relates to my story, that'll be great. It's not necessary, but it'll keep things easier. We're almost there. If ye can come up with a basic idea, that'll help a lot."
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O'Concobair: nec timeo nec sperno* *O'Connor: I neither fear nor despise
Pagan
The street was dark and desolate. A cool, moist breeze was whinging on treetops and the moist grass was squelching under Pagan's boots.

"Well, I guess I could be yer wife, Faolán. Like... Bridget, Bridget MacBruiser Seanáin, shopkeeper's wife. That's a good name, aye?"

Pagan saw light coming from behind the closed curtains as they approached the house. The windows were closed, but whoever lived there hadn't call it a night yet.
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Jerro_oconnor
Jah, I hope that she isn't with a customer! It was too late to worry about that now, though. "Alright, one last thing. Well, actually two. First, her brother is still a sore subject. Unless ye try saying something about it, she can be... perky."

He knocked on the door three times quickly. After some banging around, the door was opened by a slim girl with shocking pink hair. EEEE! Jerro! How are ye it's been forever!" She wrapped her arms around Jerro and then turned to Pagan and gave her a hug too. "And ye must be Pagan!" She leaned in and whispered, "Don't worry, I saw the posters. I know yer innocent. It's not Jerro's style."

"I'm not into that anymore, and ye know it. Um... what happened to yer hair?"

"Oh, I tried to make a red, but I did something wrong and it came out like this. I think I like it, Oh, but come in come in!"

Jerro turned to Pagan, shrugged and followed Deirdre into the house.
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O'Concobair: nec timeo nec sperno* *O'Connor: I neither fear nor despise
Pagan
Pagan couldn't help but smile at the funny looking lady with a funny-colored hair that had opened the door for them. The warmth and friendliness that emanated from her was genuine, and Pagan felt no discomfort when she suddenly hugged her like they were old friends already. Pagan liked Deirdre instantly and returned the embrace with a wide grin. Deirdre had something about her that made Pagan feel at ease in the house and dissolved some of the anxiousness in her.

"Aye, I am Pagan. And Jerro here told me ye are in a business of making extreme make-overs to people. If ye are going to dye me hair, I would prefer something less conspicious though - something more mainstream. Say, Dierdre, ye wouldn't happen to have anything to drink around here?"
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Jerro_oconnor
of course I do! What kind of silly question is that! She suddenly grabbed some of Pagan's hair gently and inspected it. Ooh! A dye job already! It's a pity, ye have some lovely hair, too!" She turned to the cabinet and opened it. "I have tea or whiskey. I was just working on a batch of dyes. Which I suppose is why yer here."

"Aye, while we are wanted, we'll be tryin to clear ourselves. We can't do that as ourselves, so we'll need to be other people. Remember Faolán?"

Deirdre was boiling water for tea. [b]"Oh I remember him! He was one of my favs. Oh, help yourself to whatever. What are ye gonna be?"
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O'Concobair: nec timeo nec sperno* *O'Connor: I neither fear nor despise
Pagan
"Why is it such a pity?" Pagan wondered out loud. "I've been dying me hair blond ever since I hitched up with Kadie because, ye know, I think she prefers blonds. I'm in favor of the potash instead of the urine, even if the urine leaves a more natural color. Unfortunately it also leaves a frisky smell that I prefer not to smell when I wake up in the morning", Pagan confided to Dierdre.

When asked about her drink of choice, Pagan hastened to say: "I'll have whiskey, please, if ye don't mind. I don't usually drink tea, unless it's spiked that is. In my line of business I have to keep me edge, and I've seen enough tea drinkers to know what that stuff will do to people. I wouldn't last a day if I suddenly changed into a sappy idealist who visits convicts, tries to help strayed youth, organizes anti-war protests and tries to save the world. So whiskey it is fer me."

Pagan still had almost cup and a half worth of the stuff in her hip flask, but that was reserved for emergencies and Pagan never failed to seize the opportunity to hooch off other people when she saw one arising in the horizon. So she walked to the cabinet and poured herself a large one. "What about ye two? Want one?"

Deirdre asked Pagan what she was going to be. "I was thinking about being Faólan's wife. So I guess the wife of an elderly shopkeeper is an elderly lady."
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Jerro_oconnor
"Ooh! Speaking of spiced drink, my neighbor makes a mean drink! It was deemed "unfit for human consumption", so he can't legally sell it, but it gives ye a mean buzz. She began to bounce around the room with such energy she could probably light a small town for a couple of nights.

While Dierdre was occupied, Jerro took the opportunity to say, "I'll have tea, thanks. It may eventually turn me into a, how'd ye put it, "sappy idealist", but it tastes well enough." The tea wouldn't be ready for a while, though, so he was forced to sit there.

"But back to business, are ye sure ye want to be his wife? No offense meant to ye, Jerro, but what I mean is ye won't be able to wear yer sword or shield." She pointed to the items and continued, "Ye could be a hired bodyguard, I mean, these are progressive times. No one would think twice to see a man who should have a lot of money to hire someone to protect him." She stopped moving around the kitchen and sat down.
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O'Concobair: nec timeo nec sperno* *O'Connor: I neither fear nor despise
--Viscomte_dargent


d'Argent looked over his letter one last time before sealing it. He had developed something of a flair for reporting in code that read as commonly spoken conversation.





"Unto His Grace, the Crimson Duke come these greetings from the Viscomte d'Argent, on this thirteenth day of June in the year of the Nameless One, 1459, being the Feast of Ezgrog the Manipulator.

Worthy Master of Wounds,

I have completed a recent turnover of that embarrassing bit of real-estate in the woods. It was rather shabby, run-down, filled with the filth of Eire's dankest pits, and occupied by persons to whom a pack of lice might feel superior.

It did not fetch much gold, but proved priceless to get the Pagan and its toy Geriatric out of town so that I might arrange a little party in their honor.

They shall return from their mission to be the invited guests of the local inquisitors on charges of Conspiracy to commit Regicide.

The humorous part is that they are actually guilty of the crime by failing to ensure that King Zantastrophe took the bloody antidote.

I have taken the liberty of doing my duty as a concerned citizen and ensuring the constabulary took possession of very incriminating evidence, and providing a bit of a golden nudge as well.


The party awaiting them shall be most festive indeed.

I have an equally glorious celebration awaiting the MacKenzie wench traveling with Doltpoint should their ship get past Anto's often incompetent pirates.

Trusting You are well and pleased with this progress I remain at Your Infernal Service,

d'Argent




He did love setting these tricks into play, did d'Argent. Faheud had inadvertently taught him very, very well. And it was far better to avoid fighting the Irish when one could so easily get them to fight each other.

Pagan
"Oh yeah?" Pagan exhilarated. "Ye should have tried me 'Potato Swill' that I used to cook during the war when we had shortage of supplies. The foulest thing ye've ever tasted, but it gave ye the ability to communicate with animals, among other things."

Pagan grabbed the cup she had filled with whiskey and poured the contents down her throat. It was strong and left in it's wake a hot burn that steadily spread throughout her body, filling her with pleasant warmth. She took only one drink before she sat down by the wall.

"If I was still the Constable I might feel tempted to give yer neighbor a little visit and confiscate his illegal products as evidence that would later mysteriously disappear from the evidence locker. Ah, good times!" Pagan sighed nostalgically as she remembered those happier, simpler times in her life.

When Dierdre made her suggestion about Pagan's new identity, she just shrugged. "I'm good with everything. I've never been running from the law - at least never fer anything this serious - and I don't have much imagination anyway, so ye probably know better. I still want to be known as Bridget MacBruiser though!" Pagan demanded to retain at least some authority over matters here.
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Jerro_oconnor
[b]"Oh, it was just a suggestion! Ye can be what ever ye want. But anyway, I already know Faolán, so let me do Jerro up first and we can do ye when we're done."

Jerro followed Dierdre into another room, Dierdre's studio. This is where she held all of her various dyes, powders and creams, most of them homemade. It surprised Jerro each time he came in here.

Almost an hour of making-up and mindless small talk later, Jerro emerged into the kitchen. He now had almost white hair with tufts of grey hair throughout. He had more pronounced wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. As a final touch, he also had a pale scar running from above his left eye down to his cheek. Jerro himself stood slightly stooped.

He changed his voice to match his new look, he even sounded older, his voice wavered a bit and sounded slightly deeper. "Well? How do I look?"
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O'Concobair: nec timeo nec sperno* *O'Connor: I neither fear nor despise
Pagan
When Jerro and Deirdre had disappeared into the other room Pagan fetched the bottle and started tasting the the whiskey. She had long suspected that Jerro thought her drinking was out of control somehow, and even if he had never expressed it to Pagan out loud she still felt kinda annoyed by this unspoken accusation. Because it clearly wasn't true. Pagan was more than capagle of sticking with moderation, it's just that her moderation was somewhat more than what it meant for most people. Like a pint of 60-70 percent whiskey a day. Or alternatively 1-2 gallons of beer, depending on how strong the beer was. More than that was boozing, so much Pagan agreed to - but still good if there was a cause for celebration. Sometimes even if there was none. But less than that and she just wouldn't function properly anymore. Instead she would get terribly ill.

But still she felt this ridiculous need to have a few guzzles when Jerro wasn't watching, and hurry to put the bottle back in the cabinet and sit back down pulling an innocent expression on her face when she heard they were ready and coming back.

Pagan was amazed when she saw Jerro's new look. "Jerro!" she yelped, forgetting she was supposed to call him Faolán. "Ye look old!!!"
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Jerro_oconnor
"Up-bup-bup! It's Faolán now, if yer gonna be my wife it wouldn't look good to have ye yell out another man's name." He smiled and held up his hands. They still looked young. "She can't do a thing to the rest of ye, but ye'll never be able to recognize yer new face!" He moved aside as Dierdre bounced into the room beaming from the positive review.

"I'm so glad ye like it! Most people don't ask for wrinkles, only to take them away. I'm glad I was able to do it right." She went over to Pagan and practically dragged her by her hands into the room. She placed Pagan into the seat and started gathering various supplies. "I'm so excited! It's been forever since I've done another girl! First things first, we'll have to wash the old dye out. Then tell me exactly what yer looking for and I'll see what I can do."

Back in the kitchen, Jerro took out a cup for some tea. As he was getting the tea leaves, he noticed that the bottle of whiskey was noticeably emptier than when he had left to get older. He shrugged, Pagan had probably just gotten thirsty. He finished making the tea and sat down for the long wait.
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O'Concobair: nec timeo nec sperno* *O'Connor: I neither fear nor despise
Pagan
Pagan thought about it as Deirdre pulled the cape over her head and started washing her hair. To be honest Pagan had no idea, so she just shrugged.

"Well, I don't know. But I trust yer judgment and skills, so I'm fine with everything ye decide. No pink though! As much as I love yer hair, I do feel that it might draw some... unwanted attention." Pagan paused to grin. "If ye do decide to make me old though, feel free to make me an ugly old hag with graying hair, pastry complexion and enormous nose. I always did want to know what I would look like should I reach me golden years some day. Even though it's somewhat terrifying thought that I might actually some day make it to the point when I'm so old I can't even hold me own crap, especially since I'm not planning on having any kids of me own." Pagan shrugged. "Oh well, lucky fer me there's always Oddman's kids. I'm planning to become such a nuisance to them in me old days they will probably feel forced to conduct an euthanasia on me." Pagan giggled sadistically at the thought.
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--Dierdre_o_meadhra
Dierdre frowned as she attempted to scrub out every last iota of Pagan's old hair color. "Well, that's not very helpful at all! I was hopin ye had some inklin of an idea in yer head." The frown didn't last long, though. Giggles broke through and Dierdre found herself smiling again. [b]"While it may be interestin to turn ye into an old crone, if ye are goin to play as Jerro's wife, then ye can't be too ugly. After all, as a shopkeeper, he could have his pick o' women and definately wouldn't pick a partner who looks completely hideous!"

So she would need to make another "mask" that complimented the first without being too similar. This would be fun! Unless Pagan had a change of heart, she would be able to start right after she finished washing Pagan's hair. Besides that, it had been a while since she had indulged herself in some good girl talk!
Pagan
"I'm not so sure about that", Pagan answered. "Maybe he married me when we were both young and I still had me looks, but later all the ale and whiskey stripped it from me. That happens to the best of us. I'm convinced that if ye could add about ten stones of fat on me in addition to the reddish-gray pastry face and overgrown pickle-nose so red it will glow in the dark , that's exactly what I would look like when I grow old!" Pagan giggled happily at the thought. The future was so far ahead for her it didn't bother her a least bit - given that she would make it through the next couple of days or weeks alive in the first place. That thought was a bit more bothersome for her. All her stress and worries would have driven a less strong lass into her cups, and even Pagan had to admit that if anyone would have handed her a glass of whiskey or even that mysterious stuff Dierdre's neighbor was cooking behind that wall, she would have grabbed it without hesitation and downed it in a go.

To steer her mind into nicer subjects Pagan ask Dierdre: ”So what about ye, Dierdre? Are ye an Imleach lass or did ye migrate here from somewhere else? How did ye end up doing what ye do?”
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