Hikenai returned from her brother Paddy's puppet show, slid slowly off Drambuie, and steadied herself. She found her footing, and made for the side entrance to the castle, the closest to the stairway leading to her bed chamber. She bypassed the kitchen, although Neonea was sure to be in there, helping Alice May pat out little yeast rolls for their dinner. She felt like a crazed woman. The words of Sir Wolfmist rang in her head, and over and over she heard him growl out,
"Hikenai what are you thinking?" as she remembered the disgust with which he spat out the Happy Time elixir! This afternoon, when he had snagged the flask from her lap with his arrow, as she sat upon the bench at the puppet show, she had barely reacted! She had been docile, as weak as a cat, sitting upon the bench, sipping the elixir, and waiting for the show to begin!
He'd had Leana withhold the flask from her, cautioning the young woman not to even sip it, for it was dangerous. Then, as he had confronted Hikenai with the ingredients of the elixir, Hikenai had felt herself torn between gratitude for his concern, and a strong desire and inclination to be defensive about her use of the elixir.
True, the juice from the seeds of poppies was the main course for the mixture. That, and absinthe....oh, just a
touch of absinthe... What had he called the juice of the poppies?
Opium! It simply calmed her nerves, and some days she needed it....but there was something about his questioning of her... He kept asking about how much she partook of it! How often!
Hikenai looked at her reflection in the looking glass above her night table.
He knew! Wolfmist, with his observation of her at the puppet show, his keen analysis of her dulled reaction, his identification of what the flask contained, recognized immediately what she had sought everyday to hide from herself, and to hide from others!
What have I been thinking?! Hikenai thought with horror to herself, before the very words tumbled from her lips.
What have I been thinking?
The small bedside cabinet containing the various potions and elixirs she used, the simples she had concocted in her apothecary shop, all there at her convenience for use against the maladies of childhood complaints that Sara, Matthew and Neonea might need treatment for. And there, amongst the healthful herbs, and harmless remedies, was the Happy Time elixir! She seized the vials of elixir, holding them out away from the other herbs, as if they contained poison potent enough to taint, through close proximity, the very preparations and simples she might use on her children. Aghast, with shock and horror, she considered what the case might be should one of the children get hold of this by accident!
Hikenai gathered all the Happy Time vials, and hurried for the necessary closet off the small the dressing room of her bedchamber. Once there, she lifted the lid upon the chair designed for the relief of one's bodily function. The shaft beneath the chair's opening dropped down many many feet to the pit below, and Hikenai caught a whiff of hell itself, as she considered where her present road might lead her.
I am not the exception. She thought dismally.
Sir Wolfmist called me on it, he knows the truth. He will tell Kelster. Perhaps other people know, as well, for I have shared my Happy Time with all who wished a sip! It is no secret, and Sir Wolfmist plainly knows.
Jah will not continue to bless me, if I so eagerly seek my destruction, with both hands, knowing what I know about this elixir.
Hikenai dropped vial after vial of Happy Time elixir down the shaft in her privy, but when she came to the last vial, a look of anguish came across her face, as if she was parting forever from a dearly beloved one. Guilt and shame was scorched upon her features as she stared at the stoppered vial in her hand!
_________________
Wife to Kelster Wallace; Baroness of Hawkshead, Viscountess of Whitehaven; Goodbye my King!
) and we waited for entrance. Donal, wanting to be just like his dad, tried to pound on the door as well, only eliciting a small knock.
This be Neonea Wallace, my cousin! She is Uncle Kel and Aunty Hik's new daughter! They asked her if she wanted a new home....but they didn't set fire to hers! She, she----she came to live with us, but there is still going to be another new cousin, there is! One is suppose to arrive any time! James nodded emphatically for emphasis. He liked that Neo had come to Wallace Castle! He was happy for her company, and they had watched the gate of Wallace Castle every day since Neonea had come, for the arrival of the new cousin Aunty Hik and Uncle Kel kept talking about. It seemed to James like children popped up unexpectedly at Wallace Castle these days! The next one coming was suppose to be a baby!
James loved squirrels! A band of squirrels for Uncle Kel's tavern! Oh, yes, just today I saw some outside the castle James thought excitedly. And Saskia has two?! I wonder how she caught them! Maybe me and Neo could catch the ones outside! We could help her, we could!
)
Smiling that at last she could do more than sit sedately in the sleigh and watch, Hikenai emerged from the warm covers long enough to place the holly and mistletoe Kelster had found in a bag. The snow was deep in drifts around her feet and she was glad Neo had stayed in the sleigh. She watched as Kelster selected an enormous tree for the castle, and was happy to see Henry rush over to help Kel handle it. The great tree fell quickly, and while sad to see it come down, Hikenai knew it's beauty would soon fill the hall in Wallace castle. 'Tis a good thing the ceilings are so high in the hall, Kel! Hik laughed.
This was Hikenai's favorite time of the day, when she and Kel would rinse the scent of ale and whisky from their hands, would hurry to the stables where the young boys would have the horses saddled and ready, and they would mount them quickly, sometimes only breaking their clasped hands long enough to get settled in their saddle. Then Hik and Kel would ride back to Wallace Castle, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but always with one aim in mind.
Then they would file from the church, and down the steps to the gazebo in the church yard, where Kelster would stand waiting for Hikenai to take her place next to him. This was Hikenai's wedding day and she could remember no other day in her life, in which she had felt so beautiful, so loved, and so full of hope for the future. When she and Kel returned to Wallace Castle later that night, it would be as husband and wife!
Seeing one missive having arrived from the south, Hikenai broke open the seal and began to read news of another couple, newly married, enjoying their...............and Hikenai's face fell. She sat blankly for a moment and then picked up Kel's quill and ink pot. There was already clean parchment before her, so Hikenai began, hand writing invitations to close friends and kin. A tear slid down her cheek and splashed on her collar bone, as she whispered a prayer for two she knew would not be in attendance at her wedding, the groom having entered death's corridor, leaving his bride alone and grieving. As Hikenai shook her head at the unfathomable loss, she knew she would not forget this man..............
