Hikenai returned from her brother Paddy's puppet show, slid slowly off Drambuie, and steadied herself. She found her footing, and made for the side entrance to the castle, the closest to the stairway leading to her bed chamber. She bypassed the kitchen, although Neonea was sure to be in there, helping Alice May pat out little yeast rolls for their dinner. She felt like a crazed woman. The words of Sir Wolfmist rang in her head, and over and over she heard him growl out,
"Hikenai what are you thinking?" as she remembered the disgust with which he spat out the Happy Time elixir! This afternoon, when he had snagged the flask from her lap with his arrow, as she sat upon the bench at the puppet show, she had barely reacted! She had been docile, as weak as a cat, sitting upon the bench, sipping the elixir, and waiting for the show to begin!
He'd had Leana withhold the flask from her, cautioning the young woman not to even sip it, for it was dangerous. Then, as he had confronted Hikenai with the ingredients of the elixir, Hikenai had felt herself torn between gratitude for his concern, and a strong desire and inclination to be defensive about her use of the elixir.
True, the juice from the seeds of poppies was the main course for the mixture. That, and absinthe....oh, just a
touch of absinthe... What had he called the juice of the poppies?
Opium! It simply calmed her nerves, and some days she needed it....but there was something about his questioning of her... He kept asking about how much she partook of it! How often!
Hikenai looked at her reflection in the looking glass above her night table.
He knew! Wolfmist, with his observation of her at the puppet show, his keen analysis of her dulled reaction, his identification of what the flask contained, recognized immediately what she had sought everyday to hide from herself, and to hide from others!
What have I been thinking?! Hikenai thought with horror to herself, before the very words tumbled from her lips.
What have I been thinking?
The small bedside cabinet containing the various potions and elixirs she used, the simples she had concocted in her apothecary shop, all there at her convenience for use against the maladies of childhood complaints that Sara, Matthew and Neonea might need treatment for. And there, amongst the healthful herbs, and harmless remedies, was the Happy Time elixir! She seized the vials of elixir, holding them out away from the other herbs, as if they contained poison potent enough to taint, through close proximity, the very preparations and simples she might use on her children. Aghast, with shock and horror, she considered what the case might be should one of the children get hold of this by accident!
Hikenai gathered all the Happy Time vials, and hurried for the necessary closet off the small the dressing room of her bedchamber. Once there, she lifted the lid upon the chair designed for the relief of one's bodily function. The shaft beneath the chair's opening dropped down many many feet to the pit below, and Hikenai caught a whiff of hell itself, as she considered where her present road might lead her.
I am not the exception. She thought dismally.
Sir Wolfmist called me on it, he knows the truth. He will tell Kelster. Perhaps other people know, as well, for I have shared my Happy Time with all who wished a sip! It is no secret, and Sir Wolfmist plainly knows.
Jah will not continue to bless me, if I so eagerly seek my destruction, with both hands, knowing what I know about this elixir.
Hikenai dropped vial after vial of Happy Time elixir down the shaft in her privy, but when she came to the last vial, a look of anguish came across her face, as if she was parting forever from a dearly beloved one. Guilt and shame was scorched upon her features as she stared at the stoppered vial in her hand!
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Wife to Kelster Wallace; Baroness of Hawkshead, Viscountess of Whitehaven; Goodbye my King!